So, you’ve swiped right on someone who seems interesting—now what?
The next step is often the most nerve-wracking: starting a conversation that sparks interest and leads to a real connection.
Whether you’re new to Bumble or a seasoned swiper, kicking things off with the right message is key to turning that initial match into a meaningful conversation—and potentially a great date.
Bumble has become a go-to platform for those looking for relationships, with over 100 million active users and a growing base of people who are serious about meeting someone special.
With that many potential matches, standing out from the crowd can feel like a challenge. That’s where a good conversation opener comes in.
Here’s the good news: Bumble knows starting a conversation can be tough, so it offers conversation prompts to help women get things rolling.
But before you settle for those generic starters, let’s talk about why personalized openers are far more effective, and how you can craft messages that not only get you a reply but also set the tone for a great date.
Why Personalized Openers Work Better Than Bumble’s Conversation Prompts
While Bumble’s conversation prompts—like “What’s your favorite way to spend a Sunday?” or “Do you have a secret talent?”—are certainly helpful when you’re stuck, they often don’t show the kind of effort that can make someone feel truly seen and valued.
Let’s face it, they can feel a bit cookie-cutter.
Why it’s better to personalize your opener:
- Shows genuine interest: A personalized message demonstrates that you’ve taken the time to read their profile and are specifically interested in them, not just sending the same line to everyone.
- Starts a deeper conversation: Generic prompts often lead to surface-level responses, but when you reference something unique in their bio, you invite a more engaging conversation.
- Increases your chances of a response: According to Bumble, users are more likely to respond to personalized messages. When you make an effort to connect, it pays off.
Let’s break this down with a few examples of how personalized openers trump the default ones Bumble provides.
What NOT to Do: Avoid These Bumble Conversation Mistakes
We’ve all seen the “Hey” or “What’s up?” messages that get sent in a split second when you’re unsure of what to say. While these might seem like easy go-tos, they’re more likely to result in an awkward silence than a meaningful connection.
1. Generic Openers
It’s tempting to send a quick “Hey” or “How’s it going?” but these messages don’t offer much for the other person to respond to. You’re not giving them any context or reason to keep the conversation going.
What NOT to Do:
- “Hey”
- “What’s up?”
Why it fails: These messages are too vague and lack personality. There’s no room for the conversation to grow, and it makes it seem like you didn’t put much thought into it.
2. Overused Compliments
While it’s nice to compliment someone’s appearance, starting with lines like “You’re so gorgeous” or “I love your smile” can come off as a little cliché, especially if it’s all you say. You want your message to feel more authentic and engaging.
What NOT to Do:
- “You’re so beautiful”
- “I love your eyes”
Why it fails: Compliments like these focus only on physical appearance and don’t show you’re interested in the person as a whole. It’s better to compliment something unique about their personality or interests.
3. Being Too Forward
While confidence is key, jumping straight into “Wanna grab a drink tonight?” or “I’m sure we’d have a great time together” can make the other person feel uncomfortable right off the bat. You haven’t even had a conversation yet!
What NOT to Do:
- “Let’s meet up for drinks.”
- “I bet we’d get along great.”
Why it fails: These types of messages can feel rushed or too pushy. You’ve got to build rapport first and see if there’s a mutual interest before suggesting a meetup.
What TO Do: Craft Openers That Lead to Great Dates
Now that we know what to avoid, let’s talk about what you should be doing to start meaningful conversations on Bumble. The goal here is to send a message that’s fun, unique, and reflective of your genuine interest in getting to know the other person.
1. Personalize Your Message
Start by reviewing the person’s profile and pick out something specific to comment on. Maybe they love hiking, mention their favorite music, or they’ve been on an epic trip—use that as the starting point for your message.
What to Do:
- “I see you love hiking—what’s the best trail you’ve ever been on?”
- “Your trip to Italy sounds amazing! What’s the best thing you ate while you were there?”
By showing interest in something unique to their profile, you’re more likely to spark a conversation that feels organic and exciting.
2. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Open-ended questions encourage longer responses and help keep the conversation flowing. These kinds of questions give your match room to share something about themselves, which is key to developing a connection.
What to Do:
- “What’s one hobby you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?”
- “If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?”
These types of questions invite your match to dive deeper into their personality, opening the door for more interesting conversations.
3. Use Humor to Break the Ice
Humor can go a long way in breaking the tension and making both you and your match feel more comfortable. Just make sure it’s lighthearted and relatable, not over-the-top or inappropriate.
What to Do:
- “Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?”
- “I’m not saying I’m a hiking expert, but I did just Google ‘How to survive a bear encounter.’”
Humor is a great way to show off your personality and help your match feel more at ease, which is the perfect way to start a conversation.
4. Keep It Casual and Fun
Especially in the early stages of conversation, you want to keep things light and playful. Avoid diving into serious topics too soon. Instead, keep it breezy and fun, and see where the conversation naturally leads.
What to Do:
- “If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
- “What’s the most random fact you know?”
These fun, easy-going questions encourage your match to reveal a bit of their personality without feeling like an interrogation.
Example Profiles: What to Do and What Not to Do
Seeing real-life examples can help you understand exactly what works and what doesn’t.
Here are two fictional Bumble profiles and the types of messages you could send to spark a meaningful conversation.
Example Profile #1 (What to Do)
Bio:
“Adventurer at heart. I’ve been to 10 countries and counting. Always up for a weekend hike or trying a new coffee shop. Ask me about my most recent trip to Iceland!”
Ideal Opener:
“10 countries? That’s impressive! Which one has been your favorite, and what did you love most about it? Iceland is on my bucket list—tell me all about it!”
Why It Works:
This opener is personalized, references something specific in their profile, and opens up the conversation to something fun and interesting—travel!
Example Profile #2 (What Not to Do)
Bio:
“Just here to meet people and have some fun.”
Ideal Opener:
“Hey, what’s up?”
Why It Doesn’t Work:
This opener is way too generic. It doesn’t engage with any of the person’s interests or hobbies, making it harder to build a meaningful conversation.
Example Profile #3 (What to Do)
Bio:
“Music lover. I play guitar and love live shows. Ask me about my favorite concert ever!”
Ideal Opener:
“Guitar player, huh? That’s awesome! What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?”
Why It Works:
This opener directly engages with their love for music and asks them to share a personal experience. It’s specific and shows you’ve read their profile.
Final Thoughts: Start Conversations That Lead to Better Dates
Starting a great conversation on Bumble is all about personalization, creativity, and keeping things fun.
By avoiding generic openers and instead engaging with something unique in their profile, you can create a conversation that feels authentic and exciting.
And remember, 80% of Bumble users are looking for a relationship, so the odds are good that the person you’re messaging is also looking for something meaningful.
With Bumble’s 100 million active users, there’s no shortage of people to connect with. Just make sure your first message is one that stands out—not just to get a reply, but to build a connection that could lead to a real, rewarding date.
Happy swiping!